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Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It, by Kamal Ravikant
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In December of 2011, I gave a talk to an audience of scientists, Pentagon officials, politicians, and CEOs on the secret of life and how I'd figured it out the previous summer. Afterwards, people came up individually and told me how much what I'd shared meant to them. This book is based on the truth I spoke about. It's something I learned from within myself, something I believed saved me. And more than that, the way I set about to do it. This is a collection of thoughts on what I learned, what worked, what didn't. Where I succeed and importantly, where I fail daily. The truth is to love yourself with the same intensity you would use to pull yourself up if you were hanging off a cliff with your fingers. As if your life depended upon it. Once you get going, it's not hard to do. Just takes commitment and I'll share how I did it. It's been transformative for me. I know it will be transformative for you as well.
- Sales Rank: #1959 in Books
- Published on: 2012-07-06
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .17" w x 5.50" l,
- Binding: Paperback
- 68 pages
Review
"One of the most important books I've read this year."�-�James Altucher, author of Wall Street Journal bestseller,�Choose Yourself
About the Author
I've been fortunate enough to have some amazing experiences in my life so far. I've trekked to one of the highest base camps in the Himalayas, meditated with Tibetan monks in the Dalai Lama's monastery, earned my US Army Infantry patch, walked 550 miles across Spain, lived in Paris, been the only non-black, non-woman member of the Black Women's writers' group, written a novel, held the hands of dying patients, and worked with some of the best people in Silicon Valley. But the most transformative experience has been the simple act of loving myself.
Most helpful customer reviews
911 of 964 people found the following review helpful.
How To Find Yourself
By Amazon Customer
This is an excerpt from a review I wrote on my blog about Kamal's book, which truly has changed the direction of my life -
What would you be doing with your life right now if you were madly, truly, deeply in love with yourself? Just sit quietly for a moment with the question. Close your eyes and really think about it.
What would a person in your shoes do if they really loved themselves? I'm talking the kind of love a parent has for their child, the kind of fierce intensity that will drive them to do anything to ensure their child's wellness and happiness.
Even if it means giving up everything they have.
I didn't know that happiness began with getting the inside stuff right. With facing the truth about what I wanted from my life, no matter how crazy it might have sounded. So I ate. And in between eating, and working, and going out and showing how cool and happy I was by having massive drinking nights with my buddies, I started searching.
I read all the self-help books from my Dad's shelves, all the Tony Robbins and Brian Tracy and Zig Ziglar, and I loved it. I bought my own books, `Change Your Thinking', `Authentic Happiness', `How To Change Your Life in 30 Days'. I'd sit and have coffee and read and journal and dream, but I just couldn't figure out how to get from where I was to `there'.
And so I'd close my book and go home and I'd eat, and my deep down worries that maybe I wasn't so special after all would drift away.
When my (first) marriage ended, my husband wondered how he hadn't seen it coming just by looking properly at my bookshelf.
I wondered too.
In the end I did give up everything I had and start afresh. Everything, even my toaster.
And I built my life anew, a much happier and more fulfilling one. I've ticked off many challenges, said no to a bunch of `you gotta dos', and I'm enjoying my ongoing development. Safe to say, I love my life, most of the time.
But when I read Kamal's book and I looked in the mirror and tried to - without blinking - say `I love myself', I cried.
And I could just do it anyway without looking away, but at the same time I could hear the little voice telling me -
As if. You don't love yourself. Not truly. You're not worthy of love.
You have unpaid debts, a messy house, photos that haven't been printed in years. Things to put on ebay, and projects to finish.
You haven't even cleared out your inbox.
Who are you to love yourself?
The voice will tell you that if you just do this one more thing, then it will all be okay. And because you're human and you like to believe there's an answer, you listen. And you strive to do the one more thing, all the while worrying about the other things you haven't yet achieved.
You don't stop to think about whether the things you're working your life away for reflect self-love or just quiet desperation. And the need to keep enough, to be enough.
So stop.
Think about the stuff that consumes your head and your life. Think about the fact that you have one - ONE - life to live, and that it is slipping through your fingers as we speak. There goes another second of your life, DEAD. Gone, forever.
Did you love it? Did you love yourself during in it?
And how would the next year of your life change if you were madly, truly, deeply, passionately in love with yourself?
The direction of my life has changed in the past 8 or 9 days since reading this book. The real me, the one I've been hiding without knowing it, thinking won't be good enough, is coming out to play.
I thought I was healed because I quit bulimia years ago. I thought my happy, healthy, successful life was enough. And I didn't understand why it didn't feel like enough, why I felt as though I was still having to impress people or do things a certain way even with working for myself.
Starting to love myself is helping me to find myself. I hope it can do the same for you.
Get the book. It will change your life.
Kat
[...]
386 of 413 people found the following review helpful.
One of the most important books I've read this year
By James Altucher
I reviewed this also on my blog. Here is the review:
Kamal went missing. We had been corresponding for over a year, ever since I started this blog. I'm very grateful for the great friends I have met through this blog. It has been a totally unexpected but much appreciated benefit of doing this.
Finally I was visiting San Francisco and after 100s of emails back and forth during the prior year, I was getting all set to meet Kamal Ravikant. But he didn't show up for our planned breakfast. His brother, Naval, called him a few times. "He's at home," Naval said, "but he's not picking up. His illness must be overwhelming him today." Naval had a GPS specifically attached to where Kamal was.
Kamal was very sick. This had been going on for months. He had gotten more and more sick. Some days he couldn't move or wake up. Other days he had enough energy to go outside but only for minutes and then he had to go back inside. Kamal's sickness was chronic. The doctors couldn't help him, he was infinitely tired, feverish, in pain, and it was getting worse.
I knew from our correspondences that Kamal had been going through a hard time before he got sick. His company, which had once been well enough to raise a significant amount of money, was faltering, perhaps failing. He had recently broken off a relationship. A close friend had died.
Often when we attach our happiness to external goals: financial success, relationship success, etc, we get disappointed. Even when things work out, everything cycles, the happiness is often fleeting.
When those goals break, the external pain immediately gets reflected into our internal bodies. Our emotions break. We feel sad, disappointed, in pain. We cling to the past happiness, or our hoped-for goals that now have to change. It often feels like your arm is being torn off your body.
But Kamal was trying to hold it all together to be fair to everyone within his company - the employees, the investors, the customers. He was clinging to the past, to the future. To everything and everyone but his own happiness in the present.
So his emotional body couldn't handle it anymore. His emotional arms and legs were torn off. And then his physical body broke. He completely broke down. I noticed he had dropped out of touch a few months earlier and I hadn't seen his comments on the blog in awhile. "What's going on?" I wrote him. "I'm sick," was his reply. He dropped out.
But then he started getting better. He started writing again and telling me what was going on in his life. He started commenting on the blog again and interacting with the great community developing here. He was aive again. We finally ended up meeting.
"How'd you get better?" I asked. "What happened?"
"I'll tell you the secret," he said, "I thought I was going to die. I was just lying in bed and couldn't move, I had a high fever, and was in too much pain. I really thought I was going to die. Finally, I just started saying over and over again, "I love myself." He paused and started saying it right then as if still in the cure. "I love myself. I love myself. I love myself. I would repeat it all day. "
As Kamal then says in the just published book, "Love Yourself As If Your Life Depends On It" about his experience:
"And I got better. My body started healing faster. My state of mind grew lighter. But the thing I never expected or imagined, life got better. But not just better, things happened that were fantastically out of my reach. This I couldn't have dreamed of [...] I found myself using the word `magic' to describe what was happening. And through it all I kept repeating to myself, "I love myself. I love myself. I love myself."
In the book Kamal describes his transition from sickness into health and the other magical things that happened to him. He also gives a series of techniques and practices to try this for yourself in a variety of ways and finally he answers the dreaded question, what happens if you don't love yourself? Can you still get this magic into your life?
"Think about it," he said to me months later when we met in NYC, "when someone is in love, they almost magically look better. I needed to be in love with myself to feel better. So much of what had happened had weighed on me until I collapsed. Now I needed to love myself. It became a mantra for me."
As someone explained to me the other day, the word "mantra" has two parts (in Sanskrit): "man" - thoughtfulness with zeal, and "tra" - to protect. So by saying "I love myself" over and over Kamal was protecting the thought, nourishing it, and the love was nourishing the rest of his body, his emotions, his mind, his spirit.
Kamal is now completely recovered. He also figured out the situation with his business and when I saw him in NYC it was as if a gigantic weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He is so recovered that I can't recommend enough the book about his experience, available on Kindle right here. He used Amazon directly, uploaded the book and it became available within days after he wrote it.
I'll let a quote from Kamal's excellent book close this post:
"If a painful memory arises, don't fight it or try to push it away - you're in quicksand. Struggle reinforces pain. Instead, go to love. Love for yourself. Feel it. If you have to fake it, fine. It'll become real eventually Feel the love for yourself as the memory ebbs and flows. That will take the power away.
And even more importantly, it will shift the wiring of the memory. Do it again and again. Love. Re-wire. Love. Re-wire. It's your mind. You can do whatever you want.[...] The results are worth it. I wish that for you."
296 of 322 people found the following review helpful.
Love and Let Go
By Jeff Zajac
I think for many of us, it’s difficult to realize how easy it is to fall into a spiral of self-hate. It is even harder when you are struggling with mental illnesses on a daily basis. One of my longtime friends recommended this book to me last year. Reading this book certainly helped change the way I was thinking. It’s a short book, but the message is clear. You have to love yourself and let go of the negativity that often hinders your progress. The advice is concise and takes a no-nonsense approach to self-care loving myself and not caring for myself.and self-healing.
I also found 21 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy, a book that has offered me similar comforts. It is also a short book, but it dispenses truly valuable advice about how to let go of the things in your life that restrict your quest toward happiness. Most of the things are immaterial, meaning that you simply have to change the way you think. For instance, one of my favorite moments in the book is “Give Up Making Excuses.” It may seem like simple advice, but it actually has far-reaching effects when you think about it. Excuses can enable behavior that is ultimately harmful to your happiness and well-being. I know that I used to make excuses for everything, until I realized that most of my problems were self-made.
In any event, I think the message of both of these books is the same. You have to learn to love yourself, accept your shortcomings, and work on improving your life in the long run. Kamal Ravikant certainly understands that failure is a part of life. You are going to fail even if you follow on the self-help advice out there. The key is to continue loving yourself and getting better along the way.
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